Is your goal setting missing a vital step?
Because if it is, your chances of achieving that goal just tanked.
Yes, really.
So what is this missing ‘magic’ key?
It’s the POWER behind your goal setting.
It’s your WHY.
WHY you want to achieve that goal over all others.
Your Why is a subject given very little airtime in traditional goal setting which tends to focus heavily on the ‘how’ of achieving the end result.
And that’s a tragic omission, because without a strong reason (or why), your goal can be big and shiny and follow the best rules, use all the latest techniques, as well as offering huge rewards when you achieve it –but getting yourself there will be as painful as pulling your own teeth using only the contents of the cutlery drawer in your kitchen.
Because your only tools will be brute force and varying amounts of willpower coupled with a ruthlessly enforced to-do-list to drag your exhausted self towards it each day.
And those will be the good days.
The Magic of Why
The sad fact is that no amount of coaching (no matter how skilled the coach) that ignores creating a well formed and motivating why right at the start, will change that experience.
If your goal setting is missing that vital key it’s not going to perform in the way you’d probably hoped.
Fast Fact: Your why performs an even more important function than mere motivation; It’s a reality check right at the start which grabs your attention and demands; “are you really sure that you want to do this?”
If your ego is writing cheques that the rest of you has no desire to cash, this is (hopefully) when you’ll realise it and say NO loudly and politely before you invest vital energy and the minutes, hours and days that make up your life in something that won’t serve you.
It’s heartbreaking to talk with somebody who’s spent even a year using all their time and energy, running east as fast as they can… looking for a sunset.
How to Force Goals on Yourself (and why not to).
You’ll know if you’ve got one of these goals because your heart will sink even as you start thinking about it.
When you end up forcing yourself, to pursue a goal, making it a ‘have to’ or a ‘must do’ as we so often do, the reality is that the journey is not going to be enjoyable and it’ll probably take a lot longer than if you had started from the point of really knowing your why. (Key point: We’re talking about Your Why, as distinct from somebody else’s opinion as to why you really should do this.)
If you’ve ever bumped into any of my work in other places you’ll know I frequently use the analogy of sailing boats and today is no different 😀
The sails on your sailing boat are just like a why. They propel your boat through the water by catching the wind.
And the wind? today let’s call it enthusiasm.
With a well designed why (your sail) and enough enthusiasm (wind) you can go almost anywhere you choose.
But if your sails remain stowed in their locker, i.e. you find yourself without a why, no amount of wind (enthusiasm) is going to move you any meaningful distance, at least not in a controlled and predictable manner. A hurricane might propel you hundreds of miles but you’d have no control over your destination, just the same as enthusiasm without a plan can result in piles of frantic and disorganised busy-work, but very few outcomes that are really important to you.
So to discover your why, ask yourself the following questions in relation to something that you think you really want to achieve and yet are currently struggling with;
1. What will I gain by achieving __________?(Insert your goal)
2. What will I (or might I) suffer by not achieving_______? (Insert as above)
3. When I achieve ________________ (Insert as above) who will feel the benefits apart from me?
See if you can come up with ten answers for each question and then choose the three that are most important to you and that really fit with your journey to this desired outcome.
#3 adds the massively empowering effect of altruism adding juice to your own drive for your goal.
The most important aspect as always is to enjoy the journey as well as the results. The journey (however many hours weeks and years that turns out to be) is YOUR LIFE – have fun and make it count!
John